silly me

I felt so stupid looking back at how I have spent my birthday. I was feeling moody since the early morning. It felt like have a dark cloud hanging above my head the whole day long. I should be happy, and I have received many wishes asking me to be happy, but I couldn’t up the positive spirits strong. I was praying for a smooth day and indeed it was, but I still feel unease. The happiest moment was probably when I was on my way to our family dinner. Blame it on my depressing mood, I got upset very quickly as everyone came late and I stood there waiting for more than half an hour. Just as we are about to start dinner, my brother has stomach pain and went to the clinic. When we find him, the nurses urge us to bring him to the hospital immediately as he is found to have kidney stone and is in great pain. We took a cab to the emergency department and after the registration; I could only stood outside and wait. There can only be one accompanying family member. Seriously, it doesn’t feel good being in the hospital during a birthday, especially when it a place where it bring back the hidden memories. There is nothing I can say, but maybe only crying to release out the emotions that was pent up.

Like what happen after rain, the dark cloud that hangs above me has turned into small white clouds. I can better handle the next day and even better the day after next. I will learn to handle my emotions better, especially when my brother has returned home now. Looking back it just looks silly that I have allowed my negative emotions to overrule me during a birthday. Being happy doesn’t mean that all problems will be gone, but I could be emotionally strong to dealt with everything that comes.