What more do I want?

Seeing that the company I worked in isn’t making profits, I initiated to leave the company. To me, I feel that my presence did not add value to the company but draining its financial resources. I was busy, not for my company, but for the two individual company of the two partners. Both of them are making big bucks for their own company but the shared company is bearing all the operating costs, the office rent and my salary.
I feel bad looking at the deficit and feel uncomfortable each time when it comes to payment, particularly the issue of whom we should return the money first. Things aren’t as easy as it seems, especially when you met with someone who puts their own needs in front of everything else.

Months ago one of my boss mentioning the intention to cease the operation of the shared company by April, and asked me to work in his house from then onwards. It triggers me to quit my current job to protect my own interest (being a secretary cum housekeeper has never crossed my mind). At this instant, I realised it was for his personal needs, he did not want to share the cost of maintaining the office with his partners and is reluctant to make any repayment. Now, he supported my decided to leave, because this gave him a valid reason to discontinue the partnership. The rent is up and the secretary is gone, this is the year he could make the most money and there comes this opportunity for him to keep most of the money to himself. The worse part came when he reveals to me that he has the intention to take all the customers of the shared company away with him.

I want to commit murder and remove such despicable characters, or I can use a vacuum to suck him into an empty space. For someone who took care of him when he was down and broke, a friend who pays for his meals everyday, who buy him everything to full up his empty house, for someone who lends him money unconditionally, this kind man is going to be abandon by the partner whom he trust and supported. At the stage when this ungrateful recipient is turning rich. A true friend doesn’t deserve such treatment.

This is the point I realised how much I couldn’t bear to part with them, I started to realise how importance my presence is. I am the mediator (or may more like the listener) when their partnership is tense.

I got a job that pays me better, in a bigger work environment and a greater prospect ahead. If I leave now, I think I am no better than the friend who betrays. My boss is extremely kind to me. When this partner decided to leave, the other insists in keeping the office and keeping me under his company. He knows that I have got another offer but he asked if I would like to stay with him.

The emotional side of me wanted to stay with him, I actually cried a few times because of this, but the practical side of me started a debate on the cost and benefits of changing job. When I can earn more money, I can better support the family (I really don’t like the way my brother spends his money, especially when his is only a student). I know this is unfair but I am sure this is what my mother wanted to see (since work and relationship are separate issues in manufacturing industries). Who doesn’t like pay increment, but are there anyone who reject offers because she thinks for her boss? A company can only grow when an employee can stay, learns and contribute towards improving the business functions. But will I regret if I forgo my $200, additional bonus, annual dinner and prospective friendship?